Weigh in, commitment & binges.

Good day friends,

Today i’m grateful for the stability of my job and housing situation. I know many people aren’t as blessed at this time.

weekly (ish) weigh in – Mondays will be my official weigh in days. This is partially strategic. It reminds me I don’t get to have “free days” on the weekends. Weekends need to be just as in control as EVERY other day of the week. Back to the weigh in. I am down 16 pounds from 2 weeks ago. As a side note: I have been sick and haven’t had much of an appetite. I will weigh in again next Monday and post it here.

My commitment: I am committing to two things; I will write down every single thing I eat for the next 7 days. I also will take photos of each thing I eat; regardless of what it is. I will note it, even if I don’t want to. The second thing i’m committing to is to get some form of exercise 5 out of the next 7 days. As I wrote in a previous blog, I started the #5Kin100days training last week. Two days later I ended up in the ER with what was later diagnosed as diverticulitis. I haven’t gotten any exercise and am way behind on the training. I am well aware I need to get my body back to healthy before I can begin additional training, this doesn’t give me an excuse to be lazy.

My plan: I have planned out my food over the next 7 days. Again, I will write down and take photos of everything I eat. I also am making a commitment that I will not skip planned meals or snacks because I don’t feel like eating, i’m too lazy to make something, or I don’t feel good. I am giving myself permission to make adjustments when needed, but skipping a meal isn’t an option.

On to another topic which i’m not exactly fond of writing about. Binging. I’m a binger – i’ve struggled with it since I was a young teenager. I define binge as eating an unhealthful amount of food, with a lack of control over my choices regarding that food.  I remember stealing food after dinner and hiding it in my room to eat after my parents went to bed. At first, it would be an extra soda, later it turned into chips and salsa, desserts and eventually i’d be eating what was equivalent to an additional meal AFTER i’d already eaten more than one helping at dinner. Not long after I discovered how comforting binging was to me, I also discovered how freeing purging was and how much control I felt after engaging in this act.  This started a very vicious cycle of binging, purging and restricting calories that went on from my early teens into my early twenties. After moving out of my parents house at the age of 18, I loved how in control I felt when I would choose the foods I could binge on. I’d purchase foods in the grocery store or at the corner market with plans of eating all of the particular item when I go home. As i’m tying this  a thought comes to me and it is “if I was actually able to wait until I got home!”. There were plenty of times when I would binge on many different items in my car on the way home, to work, to school, to my folks house to EAT DINNER. I would like to be able to say i’ve been ‘binge free’ for a certain amount of time, when in reality, i’m struggling to make it one day at a time without a binge. I read a post by Tara @ A life changing Journey today that talked about binging on a “healthy” food. This is also something i’ve struggled with.

This behaviour is no longer acceptable in my life!

There. I said it. I know that if I want to reach my goals, live a healthy life and be comfortable, binging is no longer an option. I’ve made a commitment to plan out, record and photograph everything I eat over the next 7 days. I’m hoping my commitment to this goal will keep me binge free, or very close to it.

I will leave you with that. I feel very vulnerable putting this information out for the world to see – I also know i’m not alone in this behavior.

Until next time,

Sarah

 

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June 6, 2011. Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. Sierra replied:

    You sound a lot like me. Good luck!

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